One Thousand Gifts & Mommy Guilt

One Thousand Gifts
Have you had the pleasure of "meeting" Ann Voscamp? I was introduced to her blog last year, and was excited to get my hands on her book earlier this year. Ann has a beautiful, poetic writing style (which may or may not appeal to you for the duration of her 227-page book). She introduces us to the idea of giving thanks in all things, keeping a gratitude journal. In her experience, thanking God-for the small things and the hard things-will dramatically change how one lives. I started my own journal of the 1000 (plus!) gifts He gives me, but found I would only last a few days, and then it would get pushed aside for a week. Or a month. So I've decided to post my 1000 gifts on here for some accountability.

Mommy Guilt
I've felt my share of mommy guilt over the past 5+ years I've been a parent. From less significant things like sunburns and babies rolling off the couch to more substantial things like making my babies cry themselves to sleep and Bubba's circumcision. I wish I'd breastfed my older two. I wish I'd given birth naturally the first two times. I'm sure I could come up with an extensive list.

The most recent onset of mommy guilt came at the expense of Budders' teeth. I took him to the dentist this week, concerned about some chipping and a spot on one of his top four teeth. The mommy guilt had set in even before I booked his appointment. Does my baby have tooth decay? Did I not brush his teeth enough? The dentist confirmed my fears: Budders has two cavities and all four of his top teeth have soft enamel. Apparently this is fairly common, and is most likely a result of a fever or some other disruption while I was pregnant with him. No matter what, I carry at least some responsibility.

Mommy guilt does not feel good. Sometimes guilt is destructive. It can put us in a bad mood, and can damage relationships. It can keep us immobilized in depression or self-pity. It can even make us physically ill. This guilt is not beneficial.

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1

But some guilt is good. Guilt can be a catalyst for change. Researching before Budders' birth, I felt so guilty regarding Bubba's circumcision. Although I can't go back and change my uninformed decisions, I could make a better decision for my future son(s). Likewise, it was during my last pregnancy that I discovered The Baby Sleep Book and The Baby Book, both by Dr. Sears. With my new knowledge came the guilt from letting my babies cry themselves to sleep, but now I know better.


And so I begin my blog's 1000 gifts...

1. mommy guilt
2. grace upon grace
3. the innocent forgiveness of a child
4. piles of clean laundry (we are well-dressed!)
5. a wealth of information at my fingertips
6. the sweet "Flower Girl" who entered our home and our lives yesterday