My last
post on birth control brought up several questions on Facebook, so I thought it best to address them on here. Some questions/objections have been slightly re-worded for simplicity in my answers.
Q: I understand the argument behind certain birth control pills, but I'm curious as to why you would consider other forms of birth control (ie sterilization or other natural methods) wrong or sinful in some way?
A: I wouldn't necessarily consider "natural" birth control methods sinful for everyone. I believe it comes down to motivation. We found that our reason for using birth control reflected a lack of trust in Christ to provide for us and our desire to be "in control" of our lives instead of trusting Him with complete control.
Q: While I want to trust in God knowing that He will provide for us, I also recognize basic biology and being the fertile mertile that I am, I would have a baby every single year! I am not equipped emotionally or financially to handle the number of kids we would have by now.
A: Those were my initial thoughts as well. I conceived so quickly before, that I fully expected to be pregnant with my 4th by Budders' first birthday. I have found that breastfeeding, along with co-sleeping, has {apparently} kept my fertility from returning. He is fifteen months old now, and I am surprised every month when my test comes out negative!
I have also read, and found it true in my life, that God gives us grace for the situation He places us in. When I had only one, I received the grace to parent one, and with each child my maturity, patience, competence, et cetera has grown. It's a rare instance when we're blessed with ten at a time!
Q: I wonder about the actual amount of good quality time one can spend with each child.
A: I don't want to pretend to have all the answers here. At this point I don't really struggle to spend quality time with each of my children, though I think it needs to be consciously addressed no matter how many children you have. That said, I know large families who take individual children on dates and errands regularly, which I plan on implementing. Also, we spend time with each child one-on-one when we tuck them into bed in the evening. We give snuggles and talk a bit about the highs and lows of our day. I see this time expanding a bit as our children grow older. I am also working on a new daily schedule to implement once our foster girls arrive. I plan on incorporating a time where an older child spends time playing with the baby while I snuggle, read, and talk to the other.
Q: I feel like the older ones take on the parenting role when it's not their responsibility to do so.
A: Yes, it is true that children in large families tend to have more responsibility than their small-family counterparts. And while I want my children to enjoy their childhood and to have plenty of {necessary} play time, I don't think that this responsibility is harmful to the child; quite the contrary, in fact. My responsibility as a mother includes teaching my children how to thrive as productive adults. I want them to learn how to change a diaper, redirect young children, sooth a baby, keep house, and to multitask. While I do not find it acceptable for a MOM (Mom of Many) to lounge around and let her older children care for their siblings, I think it is profitable for all involved when children (of all ages) work together in the family team to help each other and to keep their house straight. The skills learned will help them to thrive, both in their future families and in the workforce.
